Is She pregnant?

Perhaps you are wondering if she is even carrying your baby. Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience a “surprise” pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future. Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice, but it has significant risks of which you may not be aware. Having a baby doesn’t mean the end of your dreams.

She needs your help.

It is hard to realize that women can choose abortion without the permission of the baby’s father. Many women who have had abortions report that they were waiting for their boyfriend/husband to stop them. Some even say that they sat on the table hoping the father of the baby would “rush through the door to rescue me and take me away somewhere safe”.

She’s looking to you to stand behind her.

The world says that abortion is “a women’s choice” but a woman in an unexpected pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone.

She is looking to you for support because she can’t confide in many people about this situation.

When women hear men say, “Don’t look at me to tell you what to do,” they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don’t say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs. Tell her that she does not have to have an abortion to please you.

Talk to Someone that Cares About You

Choose Hope is available to answer your questions and listen to you about your concerns in confidence. Contact us today.

Here’s some quick advice.

The Do’s

• Listen – The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
• Stay calm – She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
• Talk about it – not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you, only increases the stress.
• Gather all the facts – Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
• Express yourself honestly – It’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.

The Don’ts

• Don’t bail – The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
• Don’t pressure her – Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.
• Don’t forget – You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.

How can Choose Hope help me?

We are available to answer your questions, assess your situation, make you aware of the resources in your community, and equip you with knowledge so you and your partner can make an informed decision about your pregnancy. Become a part of our Men’s Dad Coaching Program where one of our male volunteers will meet with you, come along side you and help you in this difficult time. Remember, all our services are free and confidential.

Having a baby doesn’t mean the end of your dreams. If Choose Hope Women’s Center can help in any way, contact us and let us know.